Getting Closer

After a few days of just waiting to hear for what to do next, visitors coming in and sitting in a hospital bed. I had an angio embolism. This is where they fill the blood vessels that where attached to the tumour with glue. I was asleep for this part, and woke up in a recovery room where I had to stay flat for 6 hours. (not exactly fun) It was the day before the operation so they were trying to find a bed for me in CCU (Critical Care Unit) to prep me for the operation. It took from 3pm - 8pm to get bed so I had to wait in the recovery room with my parents and the nurse, who we got to know very well. My parents had to feed me dinner as my arms where starting to get taken over by needles and very soar to bend. I was eating normally again by this point, 3 meals a day and I was hungry! 

It was all peaceful and I was relaxed and calm, then the bed was ready and they wheeled me upstairs. My parents could only come so far for the time being. I started to get a little nervous and anxious realising that it was getting closer and closer to the ‘big day’. I was in a little pain from the procedure as they had to put pressure on it every time they went over a bump on the floor (and there were a lot!), this combined with anxiety and helplessness meant that I was not in a good state. All at once 5 people started moving me from one bed to another, plugging me into machines, putting even more needles into me, it all happened too suddenly and I didn’t like the change. I got a little teary eyed and eventually they let my parents in and this time my siblings where with them to see me before I had the operation. I didn’t want to be left alone in yet another new place, it was cold, there were machines beeping, I was uncomfortable and just wanted to be home. It was a weird feeling, I wasn’t saying goodbye but we all knew that what was happening in a few hours was pretty serious. 

My Pastor was able to visit me past the normal visiting hours as he comes under the category of ‘Spiritual Leader’ and they are allowed in a hospital 24/7. He and another Pastor from India (who I met for the first time in a hospital bed, in CCU, which again I did find a little amusing) encouraged me from Psalm 34 to ‘Bless the Lord at ALL times.’ With just a short visit they left. It was just me. The beeping. A couple of nurses briskly walking around and critical patients to my left and right. As you can imagine I couldn’t get to sleep, but I so desperately wanted to. 

This is when it happened...