This question definitely crossed my mind more than once, I
have to admit. I didn’t know where this sickness came from, why it was here and
when it was going to go. I thought that He was punishing me for something, but
I would rack my brain trying to think of something and got myself all entangled
with my thoughts. I needed to know that God cared; I needed to know that I was
worth fighting for, because all I could see was just a bag of bones not worth
saving.
My view had to change in order for me to be on the right path of getting well.
I watched DVDs about God’s love, I read, and I listened but nothing was hitting
home.
By this time it was May and I had an exam to do for my first
year in university. I wasn't well enough to go by myself as it was somewhere I
had never been before and was an hour away from my house. So my mum came with
me, (I did feel embarrassed but I knew I needed help!). That morning I asked
God if He would show me how much He loved me.
We got to the exam
place and I sat down to do my test. Thirty minutes into it I looked up and
everything was spinning. My eyes couldn’t focus and I felt like I was going to
throw up! I thought to myself ‘oh God please don’t make me puke in front of all
these people’! I put my hand up to go to the bathroom and an examiner led me to
the bathroom. When inside I just prayed and prayed and called out to God for
strength. I felt a little better and
walked out the bathroom. The lady saw my face and hers dropped from a smile. I
told her I wasn’t well and went to go get my teacher. As I was sitting in the
foyer this boy leaned over and asked: ‘Are you OK? I’m concerned about you?’ No
one’s ever said that to me before nor would I think a stranger would say ‘I’m
concerned about you’! I was so touched
and reassured him that I would be alright and he offered his services if I
needed anything. My teacher came down and gave me options about finishing the
test, and I said I just want to finish it and told him that my mum was nearby
to help. I finished quickly and came down to find my friend had finished too.
She sat with me and kept me occupied. My teacher, whom I wasn’t fond of because
of how he would do certain things, offered to give my mum, my friend and me a
ride home! I was shocked and a little nervous to get into his car, but I wasn’t
going to be alone. He drove us all the way back to our road. It was the
kindness of God to do that for me.
I can’t see what lies ahead of me, but I know that God can.
I saw that God had my day planned out perfectly; He made sure that every step
of the way I was cared for and loved, even by people I didn’t expect it from. I
believe the love of God is seen through people and their actions, which is just
a glimpse of what God does for us. He uses other people to bless us and remind
us of what He has done.
I can say, without doubt or wavering, that God loves me.
Thank you, dear woman of God.....Ephesians 3:14....For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
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