God Provides our Soldiers

I got moved to a special care ward which was only 3 patients to 1 nurse. What we found with our nurses was that 70% of them were Christians, which is highly rare in this country. At the time I was in hospital there was a ban for ‘religious’ people to share their faith openly with patients, only if consented. These women of God were Holy Spirit filled, baptised in water, speakers of the word and were incredible. It especially touched my mums heart to know that I was in good hands and gave them permission to speak to me, encourage me and build me up when she or my family couldn’t be there. Which was definitely needed at times. Being in a hospital at night isn’t fun, but I had to be brave each night. I found that some nights would be busier than days, patients brought in and out, or little commotions happening here or there, I was living a whole new different lifestyle, one that I had to get used to, but not settle in.

One night when I was sad and feeling lonely a nurse started singing ‘I am cared for by the one who made the universe..’ I just looked at her and started to cry out of my one eye. Little did she know that God so used that song to keep me in peace and put things in perspective that He is the Great Father of nations that takes time to care for each and everyone of us. It was a God orchestrated moment and He knew what I need to be reminded of, to remain steadfast and not to so easily waver in difficult times.

I was doing well and slowly working my way to the door we joked, I would move round from ward to ward getting closer and closer until the next ward was right next to the exit. But that night I could feel that something wasn’t right with my body, it was struggling and all I could do was pray under my breath, I was too weak to try and get anyones attention so I just asked God to do it for me. Not long after nurse Joe came round to do his checks when he noticed I had a high fever, it was 39c when it should be 37c. Quickly the doctors rushed in and started trying to figure out what was going on. I was in and out of consciousness and wasn’t quite sure what was going on either. I just let them figure it out and take care of me. I knew it was serious when they said they had to do a lumbar puncture/spinal tap - I had no idea what that was but I said OK, you can do whatever it takes to figure it out.

I found out a bit later that this was it for my mum. She called our Pastor and just simply said ‘I’m weary, how much more can we take? Is God really for us?’ She couldn’t stand by and watch them put this giant needle in my back extracting fluid. It was too much. Some may say they are valid questions and we all reach this point, but God is always quick to respond and meet us where we are at. After encouraging her and building her up, one of the Christian nurses got my mom's attention and told her to sit down, as my mum recalls it, she leans on her arm rest and starts pointing at her in the face saying ‘Don’t you dare give up! Don’t you dare give up now, I have heard you praying and asking God for a miracle and He will see it through to the end!’

SIDE NOTE: We saw my nurses as soldiers on the front line with us, in the thick of it giving us the support I need both physically and spiritually and for my mum too. It was such a blessing from God to have the support right there in the hospital, at a time when it was almost like walking on eggshells to be open about your faith.  But I don’t want to forget or overlook all the other people that stood with our family in prayer too, our close friends and family and those who are afar, all stood in the gap and upheld us in prayer.  I felt like I had my own 24 hour prayer system going with all the different time zones, God knew what I needed and no matter what time of day it was for me, He would prompt people to pray and I am so ever grateful and thankful for that. This time was so special to me, where I saw how powerful prayer is and how it can make a huge difference and impact despite whatever we may think could hinder it.

Now back to my mum in the chair. She was a little taken back, but that's what she needed, she had to get shaken out of a state of despair and deal with the task that was set before her. She was able then to be in the room with my when they did the LP and a couple of other tests. The infectious disease consultants came and advised that it is suspected meningitis in the brain, but the fluid they took would be able to confirm it.

This meant I was moved back into the special ward, back to the start, further away from the exit.

I was still in a bad state, my neck started to spaz and I couldn’t move it, I had no control over it and I was also profusely sweating, they had to change the pillow case several times. That day our favourite nurse, came in for a visit and was surprised to see my name on the bed list. She came over to where we were, asked no questions and grabbed my mom's hand and prayed for complete total healing. After praying and believing that when two or more are gathered and pray in Jesus’ name He will answer you. Believing that simple truth and taking His word as he says it they then stood there and watched expectantly to see God move.

It took about two hours and then all of a sudden as mum was sitting at the end of my bed, and I was laying with my head to one side, I raised my head - looked to her and started chatting. Now you have to understand that my head was stuck to one side, moving at random times and in awkward ways as I dipped in and out of consciousness, it was uncomfortable but I was awake! I started talking like no time had past (this fever stretched over a period of two days). I was completely better, they tested my temperature and it went down to 36.9c (which is good!).

To completely confirm my healing, the infectious disease consultants came back and said that the fluid in the petri dish never grew or showed any signs of meningitis and that fluid was taken even before we asked God for complete healing! It was incredible! A Miracle!

Now because we are in the world and they don’t necessarily see things from our perspective, the consultants wanted to put me on antibiotics ‘just in case’ it happened again and to completely be sure that I was in the all clear, where in my heart I already knew I was completely healed and there was evidence. Dr M wasn’t too happy but he didn’t overstep his position and trusted their decision. But this started a snowball effect of other situations I had to overcome all because of their ‘just in case’ outlook.

I will Bless the Lord at ALL times

When I woke up it was the strangest thing. I was in a whole new playing field of pain, every inch hurt, even my toes. Apparently the first thing I said was ‘I need painkillers’ but the first thing I remember saying is ‘I can’t move my neck!’ I had no strength to turn my head to the side, and I noticed my speech was slurred. I was OK, but it was a little scary.

The operation took 12 hours long and 3 doctors rotated during the operation. My facial nerves were wrapped around the tumour, so they had to carefully pull away each nerve, not damaging it and remove the tumour piece by piece. Again, I so saw the hand of God on my life, I envisioned that it was his careful, precise hands operating and guiding the doctors. Every single one of my nerves were saved AND they got the WHOLE tumour out!!

PRAISE GOD!! **Cue happy dance**

It was a relief to hear that news, and another reminder that I am cared for by the one who made the universe.

I was lying there in the bed, with a bunch of wires, monitors and gadgets doing things for me, helping me breathe, keeping circulation in my blood, feeding me nutrients amongst other things. I thought to myself, ‘So..it's done..I’m here, lying in this bed, not being able to do a single normal thing...what shall I do?’

Holy Spirit answered: ‘Bless the Lord.’

Me: ‘I can?’

I thought for a little bit and realised that in Psalm 34 we are called to Bless the Lord at ALL times, and this was an ALL time. I thought about it some more and realised that, if I can bless the Lord at the lowest moment in my life, I can’t see it get much worse than this, than I don't have a reason to NOT to bless the Lord!.

It was a bold thing to do, but that is what He asked us to do and He never gives us anything we can’t do and so I did. I found that my spirit and my heart were made glad and full of hope, love and the peace of God. I felt so alive when all I was saying was blessings to God and it lead me to remind myself of all the other good things God has done in my life.

Those two days in Critical Care were blessed times I spent with God, I was a awake a couple of hours at a time but all I did and could do was talk to God and talk to my mum, dad or the nurse about God. It was a step of faith to speak out and to take God at his word and really live it, we are called to such higher and greater things that God has made possible for us to reach.

I personally believe it is what got me out of critical care so quickly and such a key moment in my life to remember that where when I am feeling slightly down, or in pain I am quick to Bless the Lord, it's like I made a pact with myself that cannot be broken.

Part Two: The Hardest Goodbye

Talk about hard goodbyes. We drove to the hospital the night before her operation. It was unsettling as we were saying goodbye but we knew we would see her again. It had to be short, which made it even harder, we had to go in one at a time. As we took the elevator down after saying our 'goodbyes' I couldn't help but cry. We started to walk out and were met by our Pastor and another Pastor from India (who is with us right now! Exactly 2 years later) I met him for the first time crying my eyes out! They comforted us separately and I can't remember what they said exactly but it was what I needed to hear! 

On the journey home we posted on Facebook to pray for Naomi, and this I remember so clearly. It was extraordinary and I don't think our Facebook friends realise! 

As we drove home We were checking our Facebook and our ENTIRE NEWS FEED was FILLED with posts about Naomi and praying for her and us. I remember this so clearly as I was reading them out in the car and we all were just amazed and crying a crazy amount! Name after name, comment after comment it built us up and encouraged us more! People who we didn't know would comment on friends post about how they were praying. 

To all who are reading this and posted about Naomi that night thank you. You may never have realised how much it meant to us but it did. What everyone wrote was beautiful and uplifting and made our family feel SO loved! I remember dad saying he couldn't drive as his eyes were filled with water and couldn't see anything! The whole car was a complete CRY FEST! 

Words cannot describe what it was like reading everything from ALL over the world (literally) about Naomi and us. 

As I went to bed that night I felt lonely as I normally share a room with Nay and I couldn't stop thinking about her in a hospital and me in our room. It didn't seem right. 

I awoke that morning to our dear friend and her daughter at the door with breakfast for Nathanel and I. Mum and dad were at the hospital and Verity had to work. Those small acts of kindness really speak loudly. As it was just two of us we didn't really know what to do and it was nice to see our friend with Starbucks coffee and a muffin! 

 I took the day off school as I probably wouldn't have concentrated at all and, at times like these you want to be surrounded by family. 

To be honest I can't remember what I did that day as I didn't know what to do. I mean what ARE you supposed to do when your sister is in a 12 hour operation? Well me and Bud (brother) did what we knew. We prayed we worshipped we spent time with God and waited. A lot of calls to mum and dad for any update and there wasn't. 

The strangest and hardest thing about the day was knowing that while you are at home, there is serious surgery being done not too far away for your sister. And that was hard, I couldn't help but think what part of the surgery they were up to or what they were doing at that exact time.

And it made me think, everyday we enter, somewhere someone is in the same position as me. Waiting, waiting for news about a dear person, who may be in surgery. It happens everyday, so much happens that we don't think about.

Anyway as time rushed by without our notice, Verity got home and we did what we knew to do. At 5 we got a call from Mum who said that as her and dad were pacing corridors waiting they just had to ask a nurse to see if all was ok. I mean 9 hours later and no news? She had to know something, so the nurse went away and came back telling her that Dr M said " tell her not to worry! I told her if she doesn't see me then that means all is well. She does not  have to worry everything is fine" those simple disjointed words were such relief! SHE WAS FINE! Not done, but fine. And for that time, that was enough. 

That night at 8:04pm we got the call. "Naomi has come out of the operation all is well, the doctor saved all of her nerves, she is fine" umm so that equals the BEST NEWS EVER!! 

We were able to see her that night two hours after the operation so our pastor came over who would then drive us to the hospital at 10, which turned into 11pm. 

Anyway it was just us 3 at home and we were told to ring everyone and let them know. That was a joyful experience with the amount of tears and joy over the phone, it was ecstatic and all were so pleased to hear. 

As there was no food in our house we ordered Dominos and ate it with our pastor. 

We drove to the hospital and the next hour was the hardest hour of my life.

It was strange, and really there are no words but I will try my best. She was in a different place and we weren't allowed to see her straight away. We were greeted by our parents who told us all they knew, and then they told us that we will be going in one at a time to see her. We would need to wash our hands and wear a throwaway apron as the place we were going was for serious patients, and there were only three people in that ward, they didn't want disease or bacteria to spread. 

So Verity went in. Nathanael went in. Then I went in.

If anyone knows me they know that I cry, a lot. Dad told us to try not to cry in front of her but be supportive and encouraging. As I waited to see her I did not know what to expect.

So I walked up the corridor, my heart in my throat. I washed my hands, put on the apron and then Dad opened the door. I saw her. Lying there. Not being able to move. I glanced around. Saw what she was wired up to. And turned away and burst into tears. Dad tried to push me in, but I needed a minute. I normally can just pull it altogether, but I couldn't this time. 

All I saw was a half shaven head, a beautiful, young girl listening to her siblings and then around her this white, sterile, white room. Emphasis on the white as it was fully clean and hospital like. The kind you see in movies, that they put on, but no. She was hooked up to everything imaginable, the beeping sound and everything. 

As I turned and sobbed, you can understand the need for a 15 year old girl to 'take a minute'. I sucked it up as I knew I had to and 'thought' I would cry no more. I took a deep breath and entered. Because of the 12 hour operation she couldn't turn her head to the right  I held her hand tightly rambling on to her about things I can't remember. The nurses surprisingly let all 3 of her siblings to surround her and talk. We laughed, encouraged her, made jokes, what we always do. But she was tired and at this point it was about 12pm so we had to be quick. The nurse came round and checked her so often an thats when it hit me, that I am standing around a hospital patient who is my sister. I NEVER thought I would be in this position BUT I had (and have) Grace for every situation life throws our way.

So I was fine, my cry turned into small whimpers as I tried to hold in my tears. But the moment that stopped me and seriously flipped everything around was when we had to go.

As I type this I am tearing up just remembering this unforgettable moment. We had to go, I was holding her hand. I gave her a gentle, light hug and was ready to go when she clutched my hand so tightly whispering

"Please don't leave"

Don't leave. I turned to look at her and broke down into a puddle of tears. It hit me that she would have to stay in this sterile, white, beeping room all night, alone. It pained me to leave, I love her, she is my sister, my best friend, I would have done anything to take her place. 

After a prolonged goodbye we left. It was the hardest goodbye. I knew I was going home to our room and she would not be there.

She didn't remember anything from that night. It is always good to remember it as it was a poignant moment that won't be forgotten. 

The Eighth of September 2011.

Part One: Emily's Story

As I was not aware of what was going on while I was in hospital, my younger sister will share her insight into the day leading up to the operation and the day of. You can check out her blog at

 rising-quick.blogspot.co.uk

I never thought it would be my sister. I never thought it would be my family. Never thought it would be our issue. I never thought it would happen. 

The day was a blur. The whole summer was a blur. I'm going to rewind a little so you could understand all going on from a different perspective. 

I remember clearly the day I found out it was a "brain tumour" that MY sister had. The words didn't sound right. They made me feel uncomfortable and like it wasn't real. But it was. There were people at our house and I remember our older sister Verity picking up the 'phonecall' that would give us the news. She called our brother Nathanael and I into the office and slowly told us the news. I remember not moving, like my brain had to stop to digest that information. I never knew someone with a brain tumour or what the procedure was. So everything that was about to happen in the next few days were new. 

I cried. Shocked at this news. I cried more when Verity relayed more information.

 "She has to stay over night, and surgery will be tomorrow". 

We prayed, that was the only thing we could do in this situation, a situation that occurs in movies nothing I experienced in real life. 

We went to the hospital that night. It was the first time I went in to a hospital to see someone (let alone my sister). I will be honest I was scared! It was a different place, as people were there because they were sick. And it didn't seem right for our family to be walking in there.

As I first walked in it felt different, as we went up to the tenth floor to see her you had to walk past other patients and that made me sad to see so many other people and so many family members all waiting beside their beds. Did they have a hope? Did they know that Jesus is a comforter? As we walked down the ward there she was. My sister, the girl I shared a room with my whole life (and still do!) My closest friend lying in a hospital bed waiting for surgery?! 

Anyone who knows our family knows we are very close and ALWAYS have fun. So of course, in true Martin family tradition we had a ball! We laughed, we cried, we joked, we prayed, we sang, we cried some more and laughed a little more. We made Nay feel at home, made her feel comfortable. As you all know from reading Nay's other posts you know that she did not have surgery the day after.

Once we found out surgery was postponed our daily routine for roughly 2 weeks was our trip to the hospital! As you read earlier when I first walked in to the hospital I was scared, but strangely after weeks of going in it was like our second home! We didn't want it that way but I knew were every vending machine, kiosk and elevator in that place! I knew how to get to the car park the route there was memorised I knew how long it would take, it became second nature. 

I started my last (and most important year) of secondary school the day before the BIG day. I remember how my tutor welcomed me in with a huge smile on her face asking how my summer was and I hesitantly handed her a note from my parents letting her know what was going on. Her face dropped she was shocked. She quickly comforted me making sure I was alright and emailed all my teachers letting them know that I might not be able to complete work or be in school due to other 'circumstances'.

All the students knew and they were shocked. They kept saying how "unfair it is as you are such an amazing family' and "bad things happen to good people". They were always making sure I was 'ok' and that it was ok to cry as I must be a wreck. But you know what? I was at such peace. Others were probably more worried than I as I knew God was her helper and is our peace, so I was fine holding onto what God says.